I get so emotional these days. I’m facing a battling situation between my need to work and my wish to stay at home and take care of our son. It pains that I cannot just decide on my own to stop from working because of the need to generate some income for us. Don’t get me wrong, my husband is a hardworking man and he is a good provider to our family. It is just that he needs some help from me to amortize the house we longed for years. It’s not actually a dream house but something that we can certainly call “our home”.
Honestly, even if I knew that my work has a good purpose for our family. I still feel the guilt and find each day so difficult, leaving my son to a yaya (nanny). My heart melts every time I wave goodbye to him and see him crying. I just couldn’t stop thinking of him the day while I’m at work. I constantly remember him, I wonder if he is well fed or if he had a good sleep or is he safe with yaya around and so on..
Without ceasing, I pray to God for enough provision to sustain our need for the house. I want my son to see me as someone who loves and cares for him; and teaches and guides him to the right path. By faith, I know that this won’t take too long to happen. In God’s perfect time, I will be able to stay at home and raise my son, as God wants him to be raised.
Thanks for reading .